Tears unspilled
by Henpuku-Hime
Summary: Inuyasha dies, and knows there won't be any tears spilled. Will life prove him wrong? Sometimes death is not the end. Inucest, slash, gay people, you know the drill.
1. Chapter 1

Just the first part of something that has been haunting my mind for a while. Uhm, yeah...There will probs be something following this, though I'm not all too sure...I dun own anything.

* * *

When I lie on the ground, body charred and beaten. Scarred and injured. Bleeding and fading- Yes, I am dying. When I lie on the ground, I do not know how you react.

But I know you won't cry.

You won't cry, since you, my dearest older brother, are simply incapable of doing so. You wouldn't be able to cry even if you wanted to. I tested this theory once, you know, by kicking you you-know-where. It was a lucky shot, since you just hadn't seen it coming. Apparently you hadn't deemed me low enough to aim at such a spot. Hah, think again. But no tears sprang in your eyes, even if every other male I know who got hit _there _couldn't help his vision getting blurry, obscured by fluids. You winced, you frowned, you cursed, and you nearly killed me afterwards, but your eyes remained the same as ever.

My heart is beating slowly, carefully, and with every beat it pumps blood out of the countless wounds decorating my body. I'm a half-demon, but this is enough to kill me. My lungs hurt, burnt from the inside, my head hurts, skull cracked and aching, my limbs hurt, slashed open and torn apart, my eyes hurt, not really seeing anything but blurry colours and my heart hurts.

Because I know I won't see you anymore.

It had been years, centuries, since we had our last 'real' fight. Sure we argued all the time, and then we brawled, and kicked and hit and bit- until it slowly developed into a _different _kind of biting, a_ different_ kind of hurting and a _different _kind of interaction. But we didn't fight like we used to anymore. Until about two days ago.

I don't even remember _why _we fought, but before I knew it we were there again, swords in our hands, at our throats, as out every move was filled with the intent to kill.

We parted in a hateful way, and I didn't see you anymore, and didn't want to either.

But now that I know I won't, there's nothing I want more than to see you.

Funny, isn't it?

I try to laugh, but only end up coughing up chunks of blood, flesh- chunks of _throat_.

Sesshoumaru, I don't wanna die here, like this. I don't want the last time we were together to be filled with anger and hatred and both of us wishing we had never met. I don't wanna lie in a puddle of my own blood, wondering if you'll find my corpse, wondering if you'll _care _enough to find it. Sesshoumaru, I don't wanna know that you won't cry.

Cause I want you to.

Okay, now _that's _selfish, stupid and plainly impossible. Don't blame me, it's the bloodloss talking. It's selfish since a part of me doesn't want you to be sad- but another part of me does. It really, really does. It's stupid since I'm not supposed to care whether you care or not. I'm not. But I do. So very, very much. And last but not least, it's impossible since, as I said earlier, you don't cry. Period.

I feel my lungs finally give up, my vision blurring even more before it finally starts fading slowly, my heart beating slower and slower and slower and slower and…slower…

Just before I die, I see a familiar white blur, and I smile.

_I got to see you..._

* * *

Yush, sesshy's a white blur. Live with it, as I mentioned his eyesight was starting to fail. So yeah, he found him, and Inuyasha got to see him one last time, even if only as a white blur XD See, I'm not _completely _heartless. Just 98%

...HOW COME I ALWAYS WRITE DEPRESSED STUFF?


	2. Chapter 2

So yeah, part 2 outta 3. Denial MUCH over here XD The next one won't be so sad no more XD (yush, it gradually decraeses)

* * *

How much longer will you mock me, little brother?

It seems even death does not stop your aggravating ways, and I am rapidly growing tired of it. Won't you finally just leave me alone, now that your being is nothing but a decomposing and lifeless body, lying in front of me?

I am not one who cries, Inuyasha.

This Sesshoumaru was never supposed, never allowed to do so, and I don't exactly feel the need to start the habit after all these years. When sad, one must simply bury the feeling and _move on_. I told you the same thing when that Miko of yours died, several centuries ago.

You refused to listen, tears spilling from your eyes. You claimed that it was impossible to stop them, while watching her- or in your words, _the one you love_- lie dead.

I found it utterly ridiculous, really.

Of course you can control yourself. If you have enough discipline you can **always **control yourself. You simply lacked willpower. Mental strength. The mind never was your strong point, was it, Otouto?

So why is it that, when I told myself the same thing- to _move on_, quite literally, my legs refused to comply with my orders? Why is it that I was standing frozen in front of your corpse, unable of walking past as I should have done? Why is it that I still find myself standing here, the foul stench burning away my keen sense of smell?

Why, my annoying little half-breed brother, are my eyes burning- though still dry, always dry- with tears that are begging to be spilled?

My head is aching, throbbing, your annoying and always way too loud voice resounding in it without stopping. My breathing is forced and painfully _there_- painful since it is the thing your lacking, the reason I am here and you are not. My throat is dry and it feels as if someone shoved something very, very big in my mouth and now I am unable to swallow- and it hurts.

It feels unbearable, as if I am breaking apart with every second, and I still- _still _can't figure out **why**!

Sure, we didn't have the same hatred between us as normally, but this Sesshoumaru simply _does not care about people! _That's why I won't allow those tears to spill. That's why my eyes, even though hurting, are still dry.

I don't. I never have, and I never will.

It was only for practical reasons (I wished to be able to move away from this spot one day after all, this treacherous legs of mine clearly demanded this before they let me rule over them again.) that I grabbed the tensaiga, movements shaky, nearly _desperate_, only for practical reasons that I swung the sword of heavens.

And it certainly wasn't because I wished to hear your voice again.

* * *

So whereas Inu has a visionary obsession, Sesshy's mostly auditory, right? Well, he IS seeing inuyasha, even if its as a bloody mangled corpse, and he probably doesnt smell so good so...Scent it is! XD


End file.
